Julie Jacky

Spiritual Coach

julie jacky

Using Argument Tapping to Find Clarity

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Have you ever been confused about something and haven’t been able to make a decision? You even felt like you were having an argument with yourself, and weren’t sure which way to go?

In those situations, I recommend you use the EFT/Tapping technique of “Argument Tapping” to resolve your inner conflicts.  When you start tapping it may first clear up overwhelm and anxiety around the decision which then helps you relax a bit, and then you can take it to the next level of tapping with Argument Tapping technique to really gain clarity.

Argument tapping is one of my favorites to use with clients, especially in group workshops and tapping circles because most people find it surprising that they believe a little bit or even a lot of both sides of the argument.

Using the argument technique helps you understand why you are internally confused and why you were not able to make a decision to move forward. When you tap on both sides of the argument, alternate the sides of the argument as you move along the tapping points.

When you are using argument tapping, be sure to voice both sides of an argument with yourself (or the other person) around an issue.

Let’s give this a try with an example.  Why not go deep with an example about loving yourself?!  

Do you truly love yourself?  Can you say it and believe it? You know it is good to love yourself, and you would really like to love yourself, but do you really love yourself? Truly love yourself 100%? Most people don’t – so you’re not alone if you answered no!

C’mon and give this a try!

Start at the top of your head and move through the tapping points, and tap as if you are arguing with another person like this:

 

Top of Head: I truly love myself

Inside Eye: No I don’t

Outside of Eye: Yes, I do truly love myself

Under Eye: No, actually I don’t and never have.

Under Nose: That’s not true.  I have loved myself.

Crease in Chin: No, I don’t truly love myself.

Collarbone: Yes, I do truly love myself – at least a little bit.

Under Arm: Who am I kidding? I don’t really love myself.

Keep tapping.

Keep going with the argument.

Follow how the argument is showing up in your mind and vigorously argue both sides. The argument tapping technique is wonderful for your brain because the emotional release is quite a relief.  

Additionally, as you continue to tap, you will realize the ridiculousness of the argument and come to the truth, and that is when you will be able to truly love yourself.

Keep Tapping!

Check out this video, “No complaining unless you are tapping” for more tapping!

How to Avoid a Holiday Money Hangover

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Having trouble staying within your budget this holiday season? Let me help you avoid a money hangover after the holidays!

why-im-grateful-for-2There are a lot of great sales going on and retailers are working hard to get you to take money out of your wallet and give it to them. Better yet, they want you to charge it on their store credit card. They make more money that way and make it really tantalizing for you to open an account with them or if you already have an account with then they want you to keep using it.

The most important thing you can do for yourself right now is set a budget. And stick with it, no matter what.

The amount of budget is what you have to spend that won’t put you into debt.  You gotta stay within your means and be a good steward of your money. Even at Christmas. Especially at Christmas.

It’s too easy to get an extra gift for your children because “They’ve always wanted one of ___________ fill in the blank and it’s such a good deal. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Yes you can.

Please stop.

Say “No” to yourself.

Stay within your budget and within your means.

You know if you spend that extra money, put it on a charge card you’re going to have the after Christmas money hangover.

Don’t do it! Say NO to a holiday money hangover!

Check out this tapping exercise to Make Money your BFF!

Why I’m Grateful for Forgiveness

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Today I’m grateful for forgiveness.

why-im-grateful-forYesterday (Friday) around 10:05 AM I found a flyer about a Forgiveness Weekend Workshop. I read the flyer 3 times, looked at my schedule, called the number on the flyer and left a message asking if they had space.

I received a message back that they had space and would see me at 7 PM — that night. (Friday night)

I rearranged my schedule, went home to nap (wasn’t feeling good), had dinner and went to the opening evening of the workshop.

Agenda

Friday night- Forgiveness process
Saturday all day- Forgiveness of others
Sunday afternoon- Forgiveness of self

I knew I was supposed to be there. I had some Forgiveness to do. I was grateful I found that ONE flyer that informed me of the workshop. I was grateful they had space open for me and I was grateful I was feeling well enough to go. I was grateful I was able to rearrange my schedule to attend.

I knew it was time to forgive him. It was time to forgive the person who sexually abused me between age 11-17. It was time to fully let go.

I went to the workshop. Half the room introduced themselves with their stories of who they wanted to forgive and why, and then we started learning about the steps in the Forgiveness process.

I was grateful it was a short evening of learning. I knew Saturday would be a big day.

Saturday morning the other half of the participants shared their stories and then we started going over the Forgiveness process in more detail with a preview of the deep work we would get into after lunch.

After lunch and a short walk in the crisp air we headed back to dive in and do our work. We started with a meditation and then with our eyes still closed the instructor asked for a volunteer to work with her at the front of the room to go through the process. I raised my hand. (I think it was easier to do that with my eyes closed.)

And as I had my eyes closed and my hand raised I asked God to please guide me. “God, if I’m selected, please help me be fully open and please help me clear all this out and fully let go. And if I’m selected, God, please let me be filled with courage so I may be a positive example for the others that will do this process after me. Thank you God!”

The instructor said “you may open your eyes. The lucky winner is you, Julie.”

“Oh shit, what did I just do?” was my first thought. And then I said in my mind “Ok, I will do this. I’m ready. I’m ready to let go. I’m ready to forgive. I’m grateful for this opportunity. I’m grateful to be fully guided by the instructor through this process.”

I took my seat in the chair at the front of the room and followed the 8 steps of Forgiveness the instructor led me through — slowly — one at a time.

With tears in my eyes I said I was ready to forgive my abuser and fully let go. I was ready to forgive so I could fully feel safe again.

With tears streaming down my face I expressed all the emotions I had left bottled inside me from the past regarding the abuse and the abuser.

Rage.
Anger.
Hurt.
Sadness.
Resentment.
And many other emotions came out.

I was so ready to let it all go. Although I didn’t enjoy saying all the things in front of the group I was grateful for the opportunity and process because I knew I would be in a different space once I got through to the other side of the process.

I’m grateful I was in a room filled with loving and supporting souls that held a safe space for me while I went through that process. 

I’m grateful I was able to fully express my emotions and let them go.

I’m grateful I was able to release my expectations that were keeping me stuck in the past.

I’m grateful I was able to open up space to allow new and good things to come into my life.

I’m grateful I was able to feel and see the beautiful bright light that was there helping me heal my mind, body & spirit. I could feel things moving and shifting inside my body and I could feel this beautiful unconditional love filling up my heart. 

I’m grateful I was able to send his soul unconditional love and grateful for the tear that streamed down my cheek as I sent him love.

I’m grateful I could feel my body relax and let go and calm down inside.

I’m grateful I’m able to see all the good that came from this situation.

I’m truly grateful for the Forgiveness process. I have so much gratitude in my heart my eyes are welling up with tears.

This has been quite a healing journey for me over the past few years and I’m so grateful to have let all this go and to feel peace inside my body as a result of this forgiveness process. I’m truly grateful for the forgiveness process!

Letting go and forgiving, albeit not fun, is way easier than carrying that crap around for years and years.

After my experience yesterday I want to go on a forgiveness immersion! Forgive everyone for everything and experience that freedom!

The world is a better place when we do our work.

And there’s one more thing! The day after I wrote this blog post, look what popped up on my Daily Affirmations from Louise Hay calendar! You can’t make this stuff up!!!

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Check out what happened when I attended the forgiveness workshop here.

Please feel free to comment below something you are grateful for today! I would love to hear what you’re thankful for!

Authenticity During Holidays: How to Remove Your ‘Happy Mask’

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Are you feeling anxious about staying true to yourself during holiday gatherings? This season, embrace authenticity during the holidays by letting go of the ‘happy mask’ and creating deeper connections with family and friends.

how-to-beWhen you embrace authenticity during the holidays, you might find that relationships grow stronger and more meaningful. When you put on a “Happy Mask” during the holidays to pretend everything is OK people can usually feel your energy and know that something feels off. They may not know exactly what is off, but can feel something is off. So don’t do that this year. Practice being authentic before you meet with family and practice being authentic while you are with them.

If one of your family members asks you how you are doing — and you really aren’t doing too great — it would be OK to say something like “You know, I’ve been having some challenging times, but today I am letting that go so I can focus on time with you and our family. How are you doing?”

That is an authentic statement to say to them. Something that most people will appreciate and respect. And then the question back to them moves the conversation back into their direction. Practicing authenticity during the holidays allows you to show up as your true self, fostering genuine connections.

I know what you may be thinking… ”Well, that might work for some people, but not for me talking to my ____________ (fill in the blank… Mom, Mother-in-law, Aunt Betty). They won’t leave me alone if I said something like that.” Then respond kindly as many times as you need to with the same simple statement (over and over if you have to): “Mom, I know you’re asking out of concern and because you love and care about me, I thank you for that, and I am also asking you to please respect that I am not OK talking about my situation today. I would like for us to focus on a fun and happy time together and I bet you would, too. Thank you for respecting me.”

Showing up authentically during the holidays can transform your family dynamics. Embracing authenticity during holidays is a gift to yourself and those around you.I know it might seem hard to do, but YOU CAN BE authentically you during the holidays. Who knows! You might even start a new trend of being honest, self-aware, and open with your family. So take off the Happy Mask and show up as the real you. Your soul will thank you!

Check out this blog on why It’s more important to be Yourself than be Positive.

The more we love ourselves that easier it is to show up authentically.  Experience a Shift in Self love with this tapping exercise. Of course, you can be supported in our Women’s Tapping Circle. Click here to register now.

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First

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You’ve heard the wise instruction to put your own oxygen mask on first?

That instruction means you first need to take care of yourself, then you can help take care of others.

put-your-oxygen-mask-onIf you don’t take care of yourself, then you won’t fully be able to assist others.

The instruction applies to many (if not all) areas of life and that instruction needs to be heeded.

It needs to be heeded now, especially on the heels of the U.S. Presidential election. As the announcement of Donald J. Trump as the U.S.’s 45th President-elect has resulted in great emotions sweeping our nation’s streets and sweeping across the screens of social media.

The sweeping emotions range from anticipation, anxiety, anger, rage, disgust, disappointment, fear, disbelief, depression, shock, sadness, despair, frustration, embarrassment, to feeling sickened and saddened by closed minds, ignorance and unkindness. And probably many more.

Are you wondering how to put on your own oxygen mask in this situation?

If yes, please read on…

You put your own oxygen mask on by taking care of your own emotions.

First, you start by articulating what is going on that has you feeling that way, acknowledging your emotions to yourself, and feeling the feelings that are going on in your body.  It’s important to own your feelings and emotions with “I” statements – “I feel like ______ and that makes me _______.” And fill in the blanks for yourself.  Take ownership of what is going on inside of you.

You might not want to hear this, but what I have to say next is true and puts the onus of responsibility in your own lap.

The reactions you’re personally having about the election are YOUR reactions. That is – it’s your own stuff o deal with, not someone else’s. The words or actions you hear or see from others that bring up feelings and emotions from deep inside of you, other than love, joy, or compassion, are things YOU need to work on. Not stuff someone else needs to work on.

These are emotions and feelings you need to own and process for yourself.

Whatever reactions you are having are related to situations from your past that you haven’t yet dealt with or fully healed. They are related to something that happened to you, usually in your childhood, that you formed a core belief about. And that core belief is no longer serving you.

When you take time to process your emotions you are putting your oxygen mask on.

What are some tools to help me process this stuff?

  • Journaling – writing down all your thoughts and feelings and emotions to clear out your head and acknowledge what is going on inside of you.

  • Praying – praying to your higher power and asking for help.

  • Tapping – Using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to help clear out the emotions

  • Working Out – going to the gym or for a run or walk to get the stress out of your body.

  • Listening to Music – listening to music and belting out the tunes at the top of your lungs.

  • Talking with Friends – Talking with friends with the purpose and intention to move to a better feeling place while expressing your emotions.

The sooner you step into self-care, the sooner you process your emotions and feelings. Which means, the sooner you address your reactions, THEN the sooner you will feel better and the sooner you’ll be able to help others. And the self care snowball continues…the sooner your community will start to shift to a better place and the sooner the U.S. will shift to a better feeling place. Eventually as a collective, we will move towards love and peace.

Click here to find out all about the EFT tapping points and where they are.

Reduce stress and Feel calmer with this 8-minute Exercise.
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